Happiness: the ONLY Option

I've always known that happiness is a choice.  I wake up every morning I have two options:
be happy or not be happy.  It is the choice to see things positively or negatively.  While in high school, I found this to be really easy.  I would go to school every day and nothing would be able to bring me down.  I had a wonderful family, an amazing school, awesome teachers, and some of the greatest friends.  I rarely ever felt stress and when I did it was very short-lived. I was happy, and I made an effort to choose to be happy.

Over the summer, I met a girl at my little sister's soccer game.  We were both cheering our younger sisters on.  This girl and I both played soccer and she seemed like a really nice person.  What a surprise it was on the first day of Writing 150 when this girl showed up in my class!  As the semester went on, I got to know this girl and found many qualities I admired about her.  She's outgoing, nice, encouraging, positive, great to talk to, a great listener, and I could tell she really cares.  Basically, she was the happiest girl I've met.  It seemed like nothing could get her down.  One day after our Writing 150 class, as we departed for our next class, I told her, "Have a good day!" not thinking too much about it.

She immediately replied "Of course I will!" Her attitude really shocked me.  She said it like happiness and  positivity is the only thing she has and is—nothing could ever bring her down; it wasn't even an option for her to have a bad day.

So is happiness a choice?  To me, happiness is no longer a choice.  Happiness is the ONLY option!  If I stop including sadness as a possible choice, then I would just always be happy!

Blogging to Bind

"Writing our Stories"

The first step to our family history

One of the first things we read this semester was the article "Stories that Bind Us." This article emphasized the importance stories have in binding families together which included extended families.  In fact, the article made an effort to point out the power of stories in binding extended families together; stating that these stories provide a sense of belonging for each member of the family.

A couple problems came to my mind as I read and pondered this article

My family on my mom's side

Problem 1: I am not close to my extended family at all.  The last time we had a "family reunion" was six years ago (and it wasn't even an official reunion).  So I don't really know them really well or what their life is really like.  Basically, most of them feel like strangers to me and I'm pretty sure that's how they feel about me.

Solution 1: When I started posting on my blog, I had an epiphany: even though we don't get together as an extended family often, I could still share my life with them through this blog.  Hopefully through the stories and thoughts I share on this blog, we can begin to feel more like family and less like strangers.

My family on my dad's side

Problem 2: While my immediate family can read and understand English really well, my extended family is not familiar with it at all.  So I decided I would need to figure out a solution to convey feelings of family unity through something other than language.

Solution 2: I realized that there are lots of ways to help others get to know me that doesn't specifically deal with all the words I write.  I tried to imagine what I would like to see if I was reading a blog in another language.  What would I focus my attention on?

Elements that attract my attention

• Design: this includes a welcoming background that is simple, attractive, and easy for the eye to follow.
• Pictures: "a photo is worth a thousand words."  They can tell the whole story if thoughtfully used. 
• Simplicity: Use simple words that are easy for others to understand.
• Short with emphasis: short posts keeps and directs the readers' attention.

These are only some of the strategies I've come up with to gear my blog posts for my family to enjoy.  By no means are these the only ones.  Eventually, the goal is to translate my posts into Chinese so they can more fully understand my words and who I am.  

 

       

20: As Writing 150 comes to a close

I learned so many things this semester at BYU.  Since this blog was started because of an assignment in my Writing 150 class, I will start with a couple things I've learned in this class.

First of all, writing is fun.  I didn't necessarily enjoy all the struggles and frustrations of writer's block, and organizing my ideas.  What I did enjoy was being able to look back at my writing projects and seeing the result of all my hard work.  My favorite paper I wrote this semester was my personal narrative.  It was really fun to be able to write about something in my life in story form because after all, my life is basically a book of stories.  

Second, Blogging is fun and more than just a hobby.  I never thought I would be a blogger because it seemed to me like it was something crafty people with a lot of spare time do and that was not me.  However, as I started blogging, I realized blogging is an art.  It requires creativity and knowledge in the "blogging writing style."  Blogging is a way for me to share some of the ideas that I would otherwise not share.

The semester is coming to an end which means that my Writing 150 class is also coming to an end.  I feel my writing has improved immensely and I hope to continue improving.  I plan to continue writing on my blog as it is something I really  enjoy.  It makes me happy that I desire to continue something that stemmed from an assignment in my class.  The most valuable thing I've learned is it's possible to

 LEARN AND LOVE WHAT YOU'RE LEARNING!  

19: Why go Running

Every single time I go for a run, I am reminded of why it's not my favorite thing to do.  It makes me wonder why I even go running anymore, perhaps it's the satisfaction I feel of pushing myself through my body's pleas to stop or the fact that I actually got some physical exercise and I just want more of it after I'm finished.  I went running yesterday, not for very long because I had a packed day.  It felt so good and yet it felt horrible!

The sun was setting when I went out so it was getting somewhat chilly (good thing I was smart enough to put on a long sleeve shirt).  Whenever I run in the cold, my ears freeze up and it hurts like crazy!  My esophagus also freezes up from the gallons of cold air I inhale.  When it gets really cold, I just want to grab my head and curl up in a ball (as if that would help at all).  Besides the discomfort of the chilly temperature, the normal physical effects of running are sometimes enough to make me want to stop.  It's a little nicer when it's warmer outside: my ears and esophagus don't freeze but the physical effects of a good run are still ever so present.

While I was eating lunch today, I woman came over and asked if it would be alright if she sat next to me.  Of course I said it would be fine.  This woman amazed me in many ways.  She had no use of her legs and only limited use of her arms and hands.  Because of this, she asked me to help her pull out her lunch, water bottle, and books.  You can be assured that I felt somewhat out of place having fully functional limbs while she relied on me for assistance.  It seemed as if my body was saying, "Look at my fully functional limbs" while I staggered around, helping her get situated.  Funny thing is, I had begun writing this post when she came up to me and now she has given me some new insight.

So why do I love running and physical exercise even though my body begs me to stop every time?  I love my body and I love that I am able to run and move around perfectly fine.  I feel free when I am doing exercise.  I feel so blessed to have such an amazing body that works the way it should and exercising is a way for me to show my gratitude to Heavenly Father for giving me this amazing body. Because of this blessing, I also feel it is my responsibility to take care of my body so that I will be able to use it to help others who are in need.

   

18: Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving?

During Thanksgiving week, my family put up Christmas lights outside on our house and decorated our Christmas tree.  We started these festivities the day before Thanksgiving.  I mention this because most people seem to agree that Christmas should not even be mentioned until the stomach is stuffed full of turkey and mashed potatoes.  Why is it alright to watch Elf right after the turkey is washed down with some apple cider but not before the table is set for dinner?  Do those couple hours really make a difference?

Radio stations began playing Christmas music long before Thanksgiving, and every single year people complain that it is too early and it ruins the spirit of Thanksgiving.  I always find these arguments amusing.  I enjoy listening to Christmas music so I don't mind when it comes on a little early.  I love Thanksgiving and I also love Christmas.  I think they build on top of each other.  But does there need to be a definite line separating Thanksgiving and Christmas?

I think that Thanksgiving helps us get into the spirit of Christmas.  We have almost been through the whole year of 2014 and it's time to focus on what we are grateful for.  So many things have happened this year that have helped me grow and become a more valuable asset.  It's a time to reflect on all our blessings, which is exactly what Thanksgiving is for.  We can be thankful for good health, a car, food, family, an education, you name it!  But we shouldn't forget to be thankful for our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and everything that they do for our benefit.  Perhaps all the other things we are thankful for stem from the love they have for us.  With this thankful attitude, we move into the Christmas Season.

In addition to all the gift giving and receiving, Christmas is a time for us to focus on the Savior and all that we have received because of Him.  Perhaps instead of seeing Thanksgiving and Christmas as two separate holidays, they could be viewed mutually in a way that adds to the true meaning of these holiday seasons.  After all, neither one of them ever begins or ends.  We should be thankful for our blessings all year and we should always be making the effort to remember
our Savior Jesus Christ.      

17: Finding LOVE in the worst parking spot

"I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me."

I leaned this song in primary, not thinking too much about the meaning of it.  Today, it reminds me of the presence of the Savior in my life.  I have to admit my days do not always go as perfectly as I would like, which is not even a surprise because everyone has bad days.  One thing I've learned is whenever I feel the need to complain, I make myself turn that complaint into something I am grateful for.

For example, at my high school, we had a parking lot and a long strip of parking that extended pretty far from the school that we called "the drag."  Whoever arrived late to school got the wonderful opportunity to park at the bottom (end) of the drag and walk the 5-7 minutes up to the school (for the student who's already running late, the walk up to the school ensured the student a tardy on their record).  The few times I was "that" late student (yes, I was late once in a while), rather than complaining about the awful parking spot I had, I would tell myself how grateful I was to even have a car to drive to and from school even though it meant I would not always get the prime parking spot.

Through this exercise, I was able to see that good exists in everything.  I was able to recognize how much my Savior really loves me.  He is constantly showing us his love through all the blessings he gives us but sometimes we just don't see or recognize it.  Rather than being blinded by my awful parking spot, Forcing myself to focus on the positive side opened my eyes to all the other blessings I've been given.  I really should never feel the need to complain or mope because Christ has packaged so much love for me within my experiences.  

As we prepare for this upcoming Christmas season, I am going to make an added effort to recognize all the love our Savior has given me, and make an effort to help others recognize that love through Christ-like service.

16: Thanksgiving Gratitude

This was our Thanksgiving meal.  Nothing fancy or big.
But in my view it was perfect.

My Thanksgiving day was amazing!  The break from school was very much needed and greatly appreciated.

Since most of my extended family members don't live anywhere near us, we usually invite family friends who are in the same situation for Thanksgiving dinner so we still have some sort of gathering.  However, this year, we decided we would just have Thanksgiving dinner as a family.  It was small, not stressful, and a great way to celebrate the holiday.

Our roast duck prepared turkey

This was our turkey.  We did not accidentally burn it, it is meant to be that way.  Instead of the typical way turkeys are usually prepared, we prepared this turkey like we would a roast duck.  If you have never had roast duck, you are missing out!  I will probably prepare every Thanksgiving turkey this way; that's how good it was!  My dad and I began preparing it the night before Thanksgiving.  It was a great opportunity to learn how to make something I love and to spend time with my dad.

Corn :) yellow and sweet

Corn.  Corn is just fabulous!  I love eating corn: on the cob, or in a plate like this :)  Nothing else needs to be said about corn.  I'm sure every single person had some sort of corn for Thanksgiving dinner.

I had a fabulous Thanksgiving.  I think the best part of Thanksgiving is that I got to spend time with the people I love the most: my family.  I'm so thankful for them and for all the love they show me.  In addition to that, I'm thankful for the opportunities I have to express my love for them.  I'm thankful to be living on the earth, to have a knowledge of the gospel and my purpose here, and for all the experiences am having in my life.  We didn't have a lot of people over for Thanksgiving dinner (nor did I have any pretzel salad: I still haven't tried it) but it was just perfect!    

15: Different Footprints in a Lengthy Stride

A narrative of my childhood relationship 

“Will you hold this for me?” asked my older brother, wrapped in a puffy, down coat.  His black and blue backpack hung from his outstretched arms.  A thin layer of soft, white crystals, had been laid down under the moon while we were asleep, hugging the steep driveway.  I looked into his dark, brown eyes, gleaming with excitement under the brim of his beanie, and I took the backpack from his hand.  Without another word, he stepped out onto the ice with his agile, nine-year old feet, assumed the “snowboarder” style, and slid down the driveway to the street—leaving me at the top feeling like a lost kindergartner.  I called out to him, worried he would take off without me—my biggest dread.

The driveway was extremely steep.
Now imagine that with snow on top!

I was five years old—old enough to be going to kindergarten.  I loved everything about school from learning to friends to finally being old enough to go to school with my brother.  But amidst all the glamour that school brings came the realization of how common it was for siblings to abhor each other.  I watched the interaction between the older boys and younger girls on the school playground wide-eyed with disbelief—taking the swings from each other, shoving each other off the monkey bars, and completely ignoring the presence of the other—before discovering their relationship as siblings.  My ears rang with the letters of “M-Y-O-B” (Mind Your Own Beeswax) flying from the mouths of brothers and sisters alike before watching the other stomp off in frustration.  Why do they treat each other like that?  Are all relationships between siblings destined to end up that way, including mine?  I worried that my brother, known to me in my life as Goh-goh, would realize how timid I was and treat me like those other brothers treated their sisters.

Goh-goh was my best friend growing up and the one who was always there for me.  Even though I was a girl, he never minded my company.  We did everything together: jumping on the trampoline (getting injured sometimes), going on adventures around the house (our mom never let us venture too far), and exploring the underside of the deck in our backyard (filled with boulders, rocks and dirt).  And now we walked to the school bus stop with each other’s company.  If I didn’t have the long hair and the wits of a typical girl, I would’ve been an exact standing replica of my brother; still, my outward appearance didn’t stop me from wanting to be like him.  I wanted to be as cool as him, I wanted to be as brave and adventurous as him—but I was a shy, timid girl who was afraid of taking risks.  Nevertheless, I tried my hardest to step in every footprint his long stride left behind.   

I watched his perfect form as he skid down the driveway, wishing I was as brave and daring as he was.  I yearned for the splendid feeling of accomplishment that would come after I left my zone of comfort. But I couldn’t allow myself to leave the security I enjoyed.

“Jade, try it!  It’s so fun!” my brother called to me while hiking back up the side of the driveway, his boots thunking on the ground with every step.

“I can’t. I’m not good enough. I’ll fall,” my mouth instantly replied.  My heart yearned to just skid down.  Why am I so scared?  Goh-goh did it and it looked so easy!  I should be able to do it too.

“Ok, well I am going to slide down one more time and then we can go,” my brother said as he neared the top. 

“Wait for me!” screamed my inward desire.  It tugged at my arms, willing my conscience to release me from the fear that held me captive.  My feet would not budge.  I watched my brother longingly once again as he leaped to a stop inches from the street.  My desire yanked on me again: Just try it, why are you so scared, you want to be like Goh-goh and this is what he does.  Besides, what if he doesn’t come back up and leaves you here?  You’re stuck.  Slowly, with the inclination to be like my brother (and to not be left alone), I locked my conscience behind closed doors and inched my foot out onto the ice-like snow.  A glimmer of faith in my ability to skid down beautifully on my feet twinkled in my mind.  Timidly I shifted my weight onto the foot on the driveway. 

Doubt flooded my mind as soon as my conscience escaped its confinement.  Immediately my brother’s backpack flew out of my hand and I caught a glimpse of the gray, clouded sky.  I turned in an attempt to leap back to where I safely stood just moments earlier.  Despite my efforts, I blinked and found myself staring at the thin blanket of snow just inches from my face, my body feeling tender from the impact.  Miraculously, my gloved hands caught hold of a groove in the snowbank piled next to the driveway and they clung desperately, not willing to move.

“Goh-goh!  Come help me!” I cried, “I’m going to slip.”

“Just let go and slide down!” he encouraged.

“I can’t. I’m too scared! Come help me,” I replied in desperation, feeling humiliated and disappointed in myself.  He’s going to get so sick of me messing up all the time and pretty soon he won’t care about me anymore. 

As I clung to the unstable snow, my mind flashed back to the summer when I was in this exact situation: relying on my brother’s help after a failed attempt to follow him. 

***

The pebbles were zooming nearer and I could not stop my shiny kick-scooter in time: the only option was to go through the pebbles and pray I made it out alive.  Even in my five-year-old mind, I knew the three-inch wheels of my scooter were no match for the jagged array of pebbles.  Sure enough after I skidded a couple inches into the pebble-zone, lost control of the scooter, and felt the warm liquid trickling down my knees, tears started flowing.  Despite having been far ahead of me, my brother was immediately at my side, picked me up, and carried me the length of two houses to our home.  He left me with my mom and explained my predicament.

“I’m going to go get the scooter,” he said, and went out the door.  Thinking he had resumed his adventures without me, I felt remorse—remorse at my clumsiness and remorse for missing out on the fun.  The love I felt for my brother was so intense I longed for an eternal friendship.  In addition to the stinging pain I felt in my knee, a nagging pain burned my mind: He probably thinks I’m stupid and a baby for falling and crying like that.  Maybe he won’t want me to play with him anymore because I am not as good as him and I always get hurt.

Pain consumed my thoughts as my mom cleaned the fresh skin that was not yet ready for the harsh world.  To my surprise, the deafening squeak of the doorknob burst through my eardrums and my head flipped towards the door; my brother’s small figure stood, framed against the bright sunlight in the doorway.  Excitement surged through me as I realized he had returned.  Pulling up a chair next to me, he distracted me while my mom cleaned my knee.  Feeling happiness for the compassion my brother showed me and guilt for depriving him of his time outside, I told him he didn’t have to stay.         

“You can go out and play,” I told him.

“No, I’m going to stay here and be with you,” he said.  I felt like a baby for skidding on the pebbles and crying.  But all he said with a smile on his face was, “Next time, go around the pebbles instead of through them.”

***

My thoughts snapped back to the present when black snow boots appeared in front of my face.  His gloved hands grasped my thick, purple-coated arms, his boots dug down into the snowbank, and he slowly heaved me up off the steep driveway.  Brushing the snow off my purple coat, he said,

“Let’s go see Mom before we walk to the bus stop.”

Two minutes later, we found ourselves back by the driveway—this time, things were a little different.

“We can walk in the snowbank instead of the driveway where it’s slippery.  I’ll go first and you can walk in my footprints,” offered my brother.  I watched as he took his first step—the soft snow rising up to the top of his boots as they gave way to his weight.  Slowly, the snow also rose up to my knees as I put my feet in the holes his boots had left behind.  We continued like this down the street to the bus stop—me following two steps behind him the whole way with an occasional leap since his stride was, and always will be, longer than mine.  

14: My BYU Experience

While awaiting my time to come to BYU, I was super nervous and slowly, as the time came closer, excitement began to appear in my emotions.  Being in a new environment a billion times larger than my high school and with thousands of people I didn't know really put me on edge.  However, as the semester has gone by, I've found myself learning how to keep myself busy and to forget the inadequacy I feel every day.  One thing that I've learned is how much I appreciate my family and how much I love my mom and my dad.  The odd thing about this is I am still living at home so I basically still get to see them all the time.  I get to see everyone learn how to be independent on campus: cooking for themselves, managing their own time, studying, etc.  I also get the chance to learn how to be an independent learner here but I also get to go home everyday which  makes me so happy.  I've realized that I need an avenue to let out my stress and the pressure put on me every day and that is how I do it.

Oddly enough, I don't think my semester will get a lot more intense than it is right now.  Somehow, a lot of my classes do not have finals during finals week so I don't have a lot of finals to study for.  That being said, I've had to find a new purpose to studying.  Through all my classes, I've realized that I learn to become a more rounded person and not to show how well I can do on a test.  This also gives me the perspective (along with countless conversations with my parents) that time really never and shouldn't ever be wasted.  Every class I take and everything I learn contributes to my future ability to make an impact in the world.

13: Sammy's for an Assignment?!

This weekend I got the chance to go to Sammy's with 5 other girls from my writing class.  Okay, this was an actual assignment.  An ASSIGNMENT!  and it was so fun!  The best assignment I've ever had to do.  I mean I don't think I've ever had an assignment basically telling me to hang out with some friends.

However, let's back-track a little to earlier that day.  Initially, I was not that excited to go to Sammy's.  I've never really liked hamburgers and I've never really been one who was big about friends.  I've always considered myself somewhat socially awkward or inept: I've always been somewhat more on the shy end so I've never really had a lot of experience with a big group of friends. (6 girls going to Sammy's was big in my mind!)  My comfort zone would've been at home having dinner with my family.  Nevertheless, because this was an assignment, I braced my fear, sucked it up and went on!  That was my mindset at first: I was going to Sammy's with a bunch of girls to complete an assignment.

Now fast forward to after our meal: Man!  I don't know why I wasn't excited to go!  I had so much fun, got to know everyone a little more, and got to deepen our friendships!  We all ordered and ended up sitting at a picnic table outside because the little restaurant was just that: little.  There was maybe room for 20 people and they all faced the wall or the "kitchen."  Not ideal for a group of us who planned to talk while we ate...

We had very nice conversations varying from movies to majors to our assignment and yes, to the moon!  (the moon-rise was absolutely beautiful).  By the end of our adventure/girls night out/restaurant visit, the assignment portion of the night had totally left my mind.  Forget about the assignment, this was a fantastic way to end the school week!

The six of us in the group

P.S. Photo credits go to Cassidy who was the picture taker of the group!  (had to cite my sources)
     

12: Mattresses aren't always Soft and Innocent

I was sitting behind the wheel, the sun shining straight into my windshield, with some music playing in the background.  My mind was running with the things I would be telling my Dad as soon as I got to work.  I work for my Dad in Orem and after a day of school, and unfinished homework, I was making my way over in my little car.

I consider myself to be a patient driver: I don't get angry or offended when I am cut off or when cars are going a couple digits under the speed limit.  I understand that everyone has their bad days, run late, or makes mistakes here and there.  After all, none of us are perfect.  I only hope that others will be as understanding to me when I make minor driving mistakes.  I was driving on University Parkway, making my way in the center lane with stores passing by me on both sides.  For some reason, there appeared to be a lot more cars in the road on this day than other days and I noticed that the lane I was driving in was moving along slower than the two next to me.  This didn't bother me much at all but since the right lane was going faster and I needed to switch over anyway to get on the freeway, I saw a gap, flipped my turn signal on, checked, and made my way to the right lane sooner rather than later.

As I switched over, I saw a minivan a couple cars ahead of me in the center lane had a mattress on top.

"That's probably why the lane was moving a little slower," I thought to myself. "There's a minivan with a mattress on top."  As I got thinking about this minivan and the mattress.  My mind drifted to any and all cars that carry cargo on the roof.  Sometimes the cargo is professionally packed in little containers on top of the car.  Other times (especially on short runs home from the store) the cargo is amateurishly tied on top with a random knot the owner knew how to tie in whatever rope the owner could find.

A couple seconds later, I found myself passing this minivan on the right.  Feeling a little curious as to whether the owner of this minivan and mattress was a professional or amateur top-of-roof cargo carrier,  I glanced to my left to get a better view of this sight.  

"Where's the rope?" I thought to myself.  I found no stripe running down the side of the car or the mattress.  Thinking that maybe the rope blended into the car or was hidden somewhere else, I took another glance.  At that time, a second thought came:"Maybe the mattress contours perfectly to the top of the van so a rope isn't necessary to hold it down." (I don't know why this thought popped in my head because obviously this never is the case.  Let's say I had a very naive moment)

During the one second (it literally was only one second because I couldn't take my eyes off the road for too long) I glanced over, I watched the minivan pick up a little speed; the wind flowed right under the mattress, and flipped it clean off the roof.  Immediately, the car behind it screeched to a stop and the van continued on it's 45 mph journey.  I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed!  I glanced in my rear-view mirror and took a look at the near-accident scene behind me: smoke dissipating from the wheels of the car that slammed on its brakes, the mattress lying centimeters in front, and a second car that miraculously stopped in time behind the first car.  By this time, the minivan was traveling well ahead of me with no clue to the trauma it almost caused.

As I've thought about this event more and more, I've realized how blessed I truly am to have only just witnessed it.  Only a couple seconds before the mattress flew off, I was driving along behind the car that had to slam on its brakes and stop in less than a second.  I don't know if I would've been able to react that quickly which means I probably would've rear-ended the car: giving me my first accident behind the wheel.  I'm so glad I was somewhat bothered by the slow movement of the center lane and switched lanes when I did to avoid this incident.  I am also so grateful that the 2nd car was able to stop in time so that no accident happened.  I think that sometimes we see or experience these close calls to help us remember how blessed we actually are.  I know that I am so blessed I didn't have a heart attack and through this, I know that Heavenly Father is always watching over me.        

11: The Journey of my Research Paper

The research paper was nothing like any of the other research papers I've written.  First, the topic of this paper was based off of something that happened or affected my family in the past rather than some random topic that was assigned.  This allowed me to research something that really held a significance to my life.  Because of this interest, I certainly worked harder on this paper and found joy in doing so.  I learned what my parents experienced and perhaps more about how it influenced them to be the wonderful people they are today.  I researched Study Abroad and the outcomes of participating.  Since so many students are going on study abroad these days, I've wondered why and if they really are beneficial.  Since my parents also experienced a study abroad.  I wanted to find out how it might have changed their lives.

One thing that went really well for me in my research was my annotated bibliography.  Although it took me a long time to go through all the articles I found, I was able to write up summaries of each one and I used them to review what quotes I wanted to include in my paper.  That saved me a lot of time in the long run.  For my first draft, I also did a rough outline of the quotes I wanted to include and the ideas I wanted to write about.  This helped me focus my paper to the few points I wanted to make.

One thing I discovered while writing is that even though my final topic and thesis sounded really straightforward and narrow, I realized I could go so many directions within my topic.  I found so much information about my topic it was really hard to know what to focus on in my paper.  One thing I did with this was talk to people and to myself.  I asked myself what I would like to find out if I was reading my paper as if I didn't write it.  This helped me focus my ideas on what was most important and what maybe would be the most interesting for people to read.

The journey of my research paper served two purposes: it allowed me to understand more about how I came to grow up in the United States and how a study abroad would benefit me in my life.        

10: Enjoy the Simple things in Life

I decided to live home during my first year of College and I am so happy I did because I absolutely love being able to see and be with my family every day.  Along with this, I also decided to remain in my home ward rather than go to singles ward.  I can assure you that I've received many remarks about this decision, some understandingly and some not.  However, I just felt that this was right for me.

As a result, I have the possibility to be called to serve in many areas of the ward.  I received a calling this week to serve as a primary teacher!  I found out that I will be teaching the sunbeams and there are 4 bight sunbeams in my class and I am so excited.  I love little children and I think that sunbeams are cute and they are so happy most of the time!  As I thought about why they have this bright aroma around them, I realized that it is probably because they know how to enjoy the simple things in life and are very quick to forgive and love other people.

Christ taught that we should become as a "child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."  Children are such great examples of these Christ-like attributes and I think I might be learning more from them than they will be for me.  The thought then came to my mind, "Well, then why am I their teacher?  After all, they aren't baptized yet, they have no sin, they are pretty much perfect."  Somehow I feel like I, an imperfect person who is trying her best to become the best she can be, am not in a position to teach these children who may be the greatest examples, aside from Christ, of Christ-like attributes in the world.  I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to teach these children and to let them know the Love that God has for each of them.  I am also so glad I have the opportunity to understand and teach the gospel in the simplest ways.  After all, the gospel is so wonderful and it really is so simple to understand.        

9: Revised Topic and Thesis for Research Paper

Initially I wanted to do research on Tiananmen Square because that affect all of China and eventually led to the citizenship of my parents in the United States.  However, after much thought and conversations with my mom, I decided that Tiananmen Square was not a good topic for me so I have revised the topic for my research paper.  The topic for my research will be about Study Abroad instead of Tiananmen Square.  The reason behind this is that my parents initially came to the United States to pursue a higher education.  That along with the many opportunities nowadays to go study abroad in another country led me to wonder if they really are good experiences to have.

Thesis: The intent and duration of a student's participation in a study abroad varies from person to person and from major to major; however, students who participate in study abroad programs increase their individual confidence, increase their understanding and respect for the cultures in the world, and are better prepared for future opportunities in a global world.  

8: An EXTRA Semicolon

An extra semicolon is all it took to mess up my code

Yesterday I finally completed a page of coding for my Computer Science class.  We were learning about Javascript so I was trying to add Javascript into my code.  The goal was to make a pizza order form depicting the size of the pizza as well as the topping choices with an image of the pizza that would adjust depending on the choices that were selected.  I had been working on this particular assignment for over two weeks and just couldn't get to work correctly.  Finally, the due date was getting near and I decided to just go ask the professor for help.  After all, the professor is all-knowing (at least in my assignment) and I was sure he could help me sort out the problem.

I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that going to see a professor for help intimidated me and always has.  I was worried that I would be seen as a fool because maybe the problem was just a simple little mistake that nobody would ever make.  But seeing as I could not solve the problem on my own, I needed some help.  Well, walking into his office, he was just the happiest guy ever.  He did make me feel dumb or stupid for needing help with my little coding assignment.  He sat down and went through all that I've done to try to find what was throwing my code off.  After a couple hours (yes, it did take this long)  he finally said, "A-ha!"  I got so excited and I could only hope that my problem was solved forever (at least for this assignment).  He showed me the problem and believe it or not, I had inserted an extra semi-colon at the end of one of the lines.  Yes, a SEMICOLON.


It seemed so dumb that a little thing like an extra semicolon could throw everything out of whack and I was kinda annoyed by that.  But really, this is just a simple metaphor of life.  This extra semicolon is exactly related to the mistakes we make in our life, and while it is still there, we can't move on in our life.  We may feel dumb for making this little mistake and sometimes it takes more than just ourselves to make it right.  My professor is like the bishop who, despite my worries and insecurities, made me feel welcome willingly helped me sort out my problem.  Now why didn't I just go into the professor earlier instead of mulling over my assignment for two weeks?!  If I sought help earlier, then I could have moved on to my other assignments.  I know we make mistakes and I know that it is best to repent, to make it right, and move on because there's no way we can continue to grow with mistakes hanging over our shoulder.  I'm so grateful for the mercy God has given me to repent and try to become a little better every single day.  

7: "Loving Others and Living with Differences" - October General Conference 2014

A week ago today, I was sitting in my home experiencing one of the most wonderful times that only happen twice a year: watching General Conference.  Conference is absolutely so amazing and I love it so much because we get the privilege to hear prophets and apostles speak to us in behalf of God.  So in reality, everything they say comes directly from God to his children here on earth.  Because it would be impossible for me to highlight each talk that was given (that would require a super, super long post) I will write about one of the many talks that stood out to me.

In Elder Dallin H. Oaks' talk entitled "Loving Others and Living with Differences," he explains how we as should be treating those who do not share the same beliefs that we do.  Elder Oaks presents his principles in an easy-to-follow, logical way that helped me understand why we need to love others even though it is sometimes hard.  The physical copy of his talk on lds.org, is separated into six sections which organizes the ideas he presents.

He starts his talk by reiterating the second great commandment: "love thy neighbor as thyself."  I find it interesting that he did not directly quote the first great commandment.  He quoted the second commandment, which leads into his talk.  He asks the question "Why is it so difficult to show Christ-like love for one another."  I immediately began thinking why but before I got very far into my thought, Elder Oaks presented the answer: "because we must live among those who do not share our beliefs and values and covenant obligations."  This statement made me analyze whether or not this really was the case in my life.  As with my case, I'm sure many other people began analyzing their own life when Elder Oaks asked his question.  His question was used in a way to get people to start thinking so they would be more receptive to the things he would say next.

Throughout his talk, Elder Oaks presents several key ideas, each presented in its own section.  In each section, Elder Oaks stated his principle; gave examples of how it applies, whether in Christ's life or in our own lives; and then followed up with a sentence or two that reiterated his principle. This format helped me understand how his principles can be applied in my life.

The first principle he stated is that we must avoid contention.  Quoting from the scriptures to illustrate his point, he says:

“For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another."  3 Nephi 11: 28-30

His second principle is we must not compromise or dilute our commitment to the truths we understand.  In other words, as Elder Oaks stated at the end of this principle, 

A follower of Christ will be firm in the truth.

The third principle is that sometimes we will sometimes be confronted by sinful behavior.  Sometimes being called "bigots" or "fanatics" as a result of holding out for right or wrong.  But we should be persons of goodwill toward all.  Again at the end, Elder Oaks says

When our positions do not prevail, we should accept unfavorable results graciously and practice civility with our adversaries.

Elder Oaks fourth topic is about how we can apply those the principles he talked about before.  Once again, this section shows examples of how we can apply the principles in our life.

Elder Oaks then finishes with a short reiteration of the principles he mentioned and concludes with the understanding that our

Savior's commandment to love one another like he loves us may be the greatest challenge [but we should] seek to live it just the same.

Elder Oaks presented his talk in a way that really made sense to me in my mind.  His principles stayed with me because he would state it, give examples, and restate it.  If you haven't watched/read/listened to conference or missed sessions, you can find all the talks here.  I encourage you to review and study the talks!    

6: Research Bainstorming

In 1989, there was an incident that took place in Tiananmen Square in China.  This incident became known throughout the world as a massacre.  My parents were immigrants from Hong Kong who came to the U.S. for college.  According to the law, students who come to the U.S. need to return back to their home country after completing their education unless they can apply for a Green Card.  if they are able to get a green card, then they would be allowed to stay.  The application for this Green Card is a really long process and not everyone is granted.  I wanted to know how my parents were able to get the Green Card and stay in the United States.  Upon asking, I found out that the government in the U.S. issued Green Cards to Chinese people who immigrated to the U.S. following the incident at Tiananmen Square.

I still need to find a focus for my research question but some of the questions going through my mind now is what happened at Tiananmen Square.?  What was the protesting about?  Why is China trying to keep the incident quiet?  Who was in the wrong - the government or China?  What effect did it have on the other families/citizens of China?

Please comment if you have any comments :) or suggestions or ideas.

5: Analysis of "Faith in America"

The real truth behind this blog... I actually started this blog because it is part of my Writing class.  So naturally some of my posts will be about my writing assignments and here's the first of them.

I wrote my Rhetorical Analysis on an address given by Mitt Romney during his presidential campaign in 2007 titled, "Faith in America."  I thought this address would be interesting because I know that there are people who dislike the fact that Mitt Romney is a Mormon and there are people out there who don't understand what Mormons are like.  I wanted to see how he reacted to the views of other people.  I read through his address a couple times and it really helped me figure out what he used to help the people listening understand where he's coming from.  He used a number of strategies to convince the Americans that being a Mormon does not make him a bad American.  On top of that, he made it clear that he appreciates any and all of the different faiths out there in the nation.  What I thought helped him the most was when he specifically stated the roles that religion has in the government.  I think that really helped highlight his address.

I thought my paper turned out alright.  I did the best I could and thought my analysis were pretty thorough.  However, I do wish I had a couple more people read it over because what makes sense to me does not always make sense to other people.  But besides that, I spent a big chunk of time working on this paper and really liked learning about the insight that Mitt Romney has about faith in America.

4: The Kho Family

The family is the center of the gospel.  So what constitutes a strong family?  A research article published in the New York Times shows that telling stories in the family not only makes for good dinner conversations but helps the children deal with challenges and overcoming stress.  This is because knowing your family's story helps you realize that you are part of something bigger, you actually feel like you belong somewhere.  The article also mentions that some activities done in the past should also be continued as traditions for the family.  As I thought about my life, I have come to the conclusion that I have either not faced any challenges and stress or I have just been able to deal with them. because of my family.  If the latter is the case, then according to this article, there must be some stories or traditions done in my family that have helped me.

This is my family.  I could talk forever about everything my family is to me but I'll just mention a few.  A tradition we have in our family is celebrating Chinese New Year.  I absolutely love this time!  We always eat dinner together but Chinese New Year is especially important.  When my brother and sisters and I were little, my mom and dad would always make cook the food, but now that we are older, we help out in the kitchen!  As a side note, the food is so yummy!  In addition to dinner, we receive red envelopes after we wish our parents a good year.  I treasure the efforts my parents make to help us children experience our culture while living halfway around the world!

Every summer, my siblings and I would sit around the dinner table and my mom would teach us: math, science, writing, etc.  We always put work before play so we weren't allowed to play until everything was done.  Though it was rough at first, sitting indoors instead of running around outside, I have learned so much from those summers: from each individual subject to controlling my inward desires.  The things I learned every summer were always more difficult than the material I learned at school the upcoming year so I learned how to study effectively on my own.  I also learned how to work fast and accurately so that I could get outdoors faster.  Regardless of my speed though, my mom was always so patient and stayed with us the whole time.

Every year in December, around Christmas time, my family would make a trip to temple square to see the lights and to take family pictures.  I remember some years it was really warm and other years, it was so cold my toes felt like they were going to fall off!  However, we now have pictures from every year that show us that we've always been together and that is something that I treasure so much.

My family is amazing and is so important to me.  In the end, though stories are great, I think the things I do with my family and the time we spend with each other really do strengthen our relationships and brings us closer together.  As a last thought, here is what The Family: A Proclamation to the World says about families:

"Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."    

3: Inauguration of a new president

This is my freshman year at BYU and what a great blessing it is to be here.  This week, I had the privilege to attend the inauguration of our new president, President Worthen.  I have never attended the inauguration of a BYU president before and I think that was the case for most students at BYU.  Needless to say, the Marriott Center was packed!

In attendance that day was The First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in addition to a couple members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  It was not the first time I have been in the same room as the Prophet as I have had the opportunity to attend General Conference at the Conference center before.  But no matter how many times I've experienced that, the feeling as the Prophet and Apostles walked in the room is just indescribable.  Here is President Thomas S. Monson, called of God to be the Prophet on earth today and I was sitting in the same room as him!  As they walked in, the whole room was on their feet, standing reverently, and to me that shows the respect and gratitude we have, not only for him, but for who he represents. The spirit completely filled the room and I could feel that this is God's work and I am so privileged to be a part of it.

Throughout the program, I felt more and more blessed as I realized who is part of the board that runs Brigham Young University.  This really is God's work and he is highly involved in everyone and everything here.  What a great blessing that is for me to know that.  I also noticed the humility President Worthen showed as he was inaugurated.  He could very well be proud of himself for being president of such a prestigious university but he he didn't express that.  It must be a huge responsibility to not only be the president of this university but one that represents the church and I got the feeling that he was very humbled to be called to this position.

What a great example! This is a perfect reminder to me of how important it is that I be humble at all times, be willing to learn and acknowledge that I am not perfect, and to know that God's hands are in my everyday life.  

2: "To Sweep the Earth as with a Flood"

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke at Education Week at BYU on August 19, 2014.  If you have not heard his message, I encourage you to check it out on lds.org.

Near the end of his message, after Elder Bednar presents the basic guidelines to using social media to share gospel messages, he "exhorts [us] to sweep the earth with messages filled with righteousness and truth... and literally to sweep the earth as with a flood."

But what really stood out to me was his next sentence: "I pray we will not simply participate in a flash flood that rises swiftly and then recedes just as rapidly."  Many times, we are counseled by our prophets and apostles to do something and hopefully we always take that counsel to heart and try to become better.  The same is with this message.  Elder Bednar counseled us to fill social media with "messages that are authentic, edifying, and praiseworthy."  But this cannot be a one time thing.  It is not enough that we post something once and say we are done.  We have to be consistent and though we may feel that our individual posts may not be having a lot of impact, the collective posts of everyone combined can produce the flood of truth and righteousness the earth is so desperately waiting for.

So as an echo to Elder Bednar's challenge, let's "Sweep the earth as with a flood!"  

1: Ponder, Act, Love

Here's my first post on my first blog! I never thought I would be blogging but here I am.  After much thought, I decided on the title Ponder, Act, Love because I feel like these are the steps I should take whenever new experiences happen or whenever I learn something new!

Ponder: thinking and analyzing about what it means to me and how it will affect myself and those around me.
Act: what can I do now with the new thought, knowledge, experiences I have gained?
Love: this is simple.  Love life, love the people around you.

"Pure Christlike love flowing from true righteousness can change the world."
-Elder Holland

So, this blog will be a place where I will post thoughts or feelings about life, what I learn, and anything else that comes to my mind!